chasing peace first step

That First Night

In our lifetime, we will make decisions that will prove to be pivotal and life-changing. Sometimes, these decisions are impulsive; these kinds will make us wonder if we made the right call or if we would end up regretting our actions. In the end, we would have to live with the consequences, whatever they may be, because we took a step away from where we were; a step away to where we are supposed to be. Here’s a little something to show just how vulnerable one can be at such a remorseful night.

How do I grieve when I don’t wanna cry?

How do I forget when I don’t wanna try?

How can I sleep without your good night?

When I wake up, you’re not by my side.


I was finally proud of myself

For sleeping earlier than the past three days

Had a dream and woke up 3:00 am

Now I cannot go back to sleep


I am aware of the pictures on my wall

But I don’t want to look at them

I know sooner or later I’d have to take ’em all

If I did then it’ll be official


I don’t know what I’ll wake up to tomorrow

Four years was like the rest of my life

When have I become so selfish

I’m sorry for the double edged knife


Someday I’ll be brave enough

To take out the memories on my wall

Someday I’ll be brave enough

To forgive myself.

July 26, 2016 | 4:08 AM



  1. Hi! read this and related to your feelings.

    I cannot say much but only that it gets better.

    Goodluck to us! The first night (months/year) is always the hardest, but we will live.
    Let’s just hope that things will make sense, eventually.

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